Yep, I cried!

Wow...just wow.

What a story!

Life Lessons

I've heard all the stories about how people have such a hard time dealing with turning 40 - some even have issues at 30. I am apparently not normal (NEWS FLASH!). When I turned 30 something clicked. I finally felt like I was the right age. I'm not sure how else to describe it. I'd always felt older than I was. I had no desire to do the "normal" high school and college stuff. No sororities, no parties, no interest in having the "right" friends, or doing the popular thing. I made no judgement about the people who chose to do all those things - it just didn't interest me. So when I turned 30, everything felt like it was as it should be.  Between that birthday and this I found a job that I loved, became engaged to and married the love of my life, we bought a house we love,  I became pregnant with our first child but lost the baby in the second trimester. I left the job I loved (that included the travel I didn't love) to be with my husband and think about trying again to grow our family. I had 3 surgeries in 60 days (one of them major), started a new job, and had doctors tell me that due to my surgery I couldn't have children without In Vitro. I found out I was pregnant just a few weeks later (without InVitro). I delivered our son at 24 weeks and spent 3 months in the NICU with him and all of the ups and downs and praying for the best. We knew we were blessed with one child and were excited and a little scared (only because of medical history) just 14 months later to find out we were pregnant again. We were thrilled when our daughter was delivered without incident in 2009. In 2010 I took the leap again and started another new job. It's had its ups and downs but I'm surrounded by people whom I adore - they are wonderful people, they work hard and we make a great team. That makes even the bad days bearable.

So on January 9th I turned 40. On that same day I was diagnosed with pneumonia. It stuck around to celebrate with me a little longer than I would have liked but in mid-February I was better. This past Friday we experienced some pretty nasty weather - not anything NEAR what our fellow Kentuckians experienced in West Liberty, Salyersville and other cities - but our home sustained some damage. That means we're starting down the road of insurance adjusters, estimates, contractors and headaches. As I type this, I'm really not feeling sorry for myself. I'm thinking that with age comes some understanding and the ability to realize what's really important. I know people who lost everything due to a tornado. I can't imagine what they are going through. I know when things started to get scary here on Friday night, I was thinking to myself - take my house, take my car, take everything I own if it will mean that my babies are safe. We are lucky to have only suffered hail and wind damage.

The point of all of this rambling is to say that you have to live life - the good stuff, the bad stuff, the fun stuff, the sad stuff - to get to know yourself. Don't be afraid of a dang number! You can fight it, deny it, joke about it, cry about it...but you're still going to get older. Every day, every year. Take the time to appreciate what you've been given. I am who I am because of my life experiences. I can say with confidence that I love and appreciate my parents and my sister more now than at any time in my life. I know what's it like to love my husband and my children so much that I would, without hesitation, lay down my life in order to protect theirs. I know that no matter how bad you think things are, someone else is going through something worse.  I know that it's important to have a positive impact on someone else's life and it's NOT important to take credit for it. I know that it's important to tell people that you care or that you love them - I know that some people find that strange and I know I don't care. :-) I don't want to leave this life thinking that I hurt someone, or that I was selfish, or that my children won't know how much I love them or that I didn't tell my parents thank you. I appreciate every moment I have on this earth. I started 2012 thinking how much it sucked. Now I'm thinking that it's happening at the right time. I'm old enough and wise enough to know that I can handle it. I think 40 and I are going to get along just fine.